“Mick! Mick! Calm down, old pal! There has to be an
explanation for this…”
Speedy put a paw out to keep the fuming lop from coming
closer, then suddenly twitched his ears violently. “Ghaaaaa! Stop that, Freddie!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” a tiny voice appeared to come from
the inside of Speedy’s right ear. “I just don’t want to get bopped on the head,
that’s all!”
Speedy thumped a hind foot. “Being bopped is the least of
your worries if I accidentally shake you out—I won’t let him hurt you, just come
out of there!”
Cautiously, the tiny gerbil came into view, clutching at
Speedy’s ear and looking wide-eyed at Mick. “I swear, I swear, I didn’t do
anything!”
“I didn’t say you did, you ninny, but something happened last
night and I want to know what it was!” Mick looked at Speedy. “I was fine until
I got to your party last night, then the next thing I know, I’m home with a
splitting headache and I smell like I was used as a gerbil bed!”
He pointed up with a paw at Freddie. “And I swear, if you peed on me, I
will feed you to the nearest alley cat—“
“I didn’t! I didn’t!” Freddie squealed. “YOU were the one
hugging me!”
“Whaddaya mean, ‘hugging you’?” Mick shook his head in
disgust. “I don’t go around hugging foo’ gerbils, least of all you!”
Speedy spoke up. “I’m afraid you did, old chap. In fact, you were also offering ‘pony rides’ at the
top of your lungs. As I recall, you did the Bunny 500 with Freddie here on your back at least three times. ”
Now it was Mick’s turn to go all wide-eyed. “What?!
Impossible! Inconceivable!”
“You did! You did!” Freddie raced down Speedy’s leg and
stood in front of Mick. “You were hugging us both and saying how much you loved
us and how wunnerful we all were.”
He looked at Speedy. “Is ‘wunnerful’ even a word?”
Speedy nodded. “It is, but not like that, I think. “ He
looked at Mick. “You did seem to be a few sheets into the wind, Mick. How many
carrotinis did you have last night?”
Mick paused and thought. “Not all that many, I knew I had
some more closet-hopping to do.”
“Are you sure? Perhaps you lost count—“
“No way, I’m always careful about that!”
“Perhaps you didn’t eat enough to balance things out, then?”
“Are you kidding?” Freddie interjected. “Since when does he
not eat?!” He scampered behind Speedy as Mick glared at him. “Well, it’s true!”
Mick carefully groomed an ear and thought some more. “Of
course I ate—not that much *glaring at
Freddie*—but I did eat. Let’s see, there were the shredded carrots…and the
banana slices…and that lovely kale--where did your Mum get that kale, I need to
get some more of that?”
“I’ll ask her. Anything else?”
“Hmmm…there was the salad…and the blueberries…oh, and those
marvelous hay cookies—even better than the ones my Mum makes!”
Speedy looked puzzled. “What hay cookies? I didn’t see any,
and I know Mum didn’t make any.”
“Greedy bun! I only got one!” Freddie squeaked. He looked up
at Speedy. “The ones in the pretty blue box—you didn’t see them?”
“No, I didn’t.” Speedy scratched his ear and thought a
moment. “Don’t recall anyone bringing a box of hay cookies, either. A shame, I would have loved to have a nibble,
but I was busy being a proper host and all. ”
“Well, it’s not like anyone had a chance to eat them once Greedy
McGreedypants here got at them!”
Freddie raced back up to perch between Speedy’s
ears again as Mick took a swipe at him. “I grabbed one when he wasn’t looking,
or he would have got them all!”
“I did not eat them all!” Mick paused, and for once, had the
grace to look a bit embarrassed. “Well, I did lose track of how many I had…they
were just so very yummy. I wish I knew who brought them.”
“Hmmm…perhaps the box is still around. I had to clean up
very quickly before the humans woke up.”
Speedy turned and headed towards the
kitchen, Freddie clinging to one ear. “Come on, let’s have a look through the
trash.”
The three went into the kitchen, where a well-loaded trash
bin sat. Mick periscoped up on his hind legs to try to get a glimpse into it. “Gawd, it stinks!
What have your humans been eating?”
“I have no idea. I think we’re going to need to knock it
down so we can go through it.”
“Do we have to?” Mick sat down and grumbled. “I just got the
smell of gerbil off me—I don’t want to be smelling like yesterday’s dinner now.”
“Do you want to find out what happened or don’t you?
Freddie, you’d better hop off and move back. Go keep an eye out for Mum and Dad
for us. ”
Freddie hopped down and scampered off. The two rabbits moved
to one side of the wastebasket, and periscoping up and leaning against it,
managed to slowly tip it over. Garbage spilled out across the floor, and Speedy
immediately hopped over and began pawing through it. Mick less-than-enthusiastically
waved a paw delicately over bits and pieces, carefully pushing things aside.
Speedy gave him a scornful look. “Oh, come on—it’s not that bad.”
“Yes, it is. You may not mind being stinky, but I—wait,
wait! There it is!” Mick pointed at a bright blue metal box corner sticking up out
of a pile of damp paper.
Speedy dug it out, grabbed it with his teeth and pulled it
to one side. The box had no lid; inside it was a bit of wax paper sprinkled
with crumbs. He sniffed at it, and recoiled with a sneeze. “Wooo! Are you sure
there were cookies in there? That box smells rummy!”
Freddie scampered over to the box. “Yes! Yes! That’s it—ooh,
crumbs!” He hopped into the box and started licking the waxed paper eagerly.
Mick shook his head in disgust. “Foo’ gerbil—don’t you know
better than to eat something that’s been in the garbage?”
Freddie ignored him and kept licking at the paper until
every crumb was gone. “You’re just jealous that I got the last of it.” He
hopped out of the box and began cleaning his whiskers to get every last bit.
Speedy inspected the box. “I don’t see any markings on it, and
that awful smell is hiding any scents so I don’t know who brought it, but it
certainly stinks like rum. You didn’t smell that when you were eating them?”
Mick shook his head. “Nope, but then again my nose isn’t as
good when I’ve been sipping carrotinis.”
“Your nose isn’t all that good even when you haven’t!”
squeaked Freddie. He stuck his tongue out at Mick, then bounced in and out
between Speedy’s paws as Mick’s eyes narrowed at him. “Nyah, nyah, nyah—try to
catch me, ya fat puffball!”
Speedy looked down in amusement at Freddie. “I say, you’ve
gotten rather bold all of a sudden. Are you alright?”
“Never better! Come on, fat boy, what are ya waitin’ for?!”
Freddie danced back-and-forth, back-and-forth, his tail whipping about as he inched closer and closer to
Mick’s fluffy front paws, darting in to tag them lightly every so often, then dropping back to dance some more.
Mick looked down at the bouncing gerbil, then at Speedy,
then down at Freddie again. With one quick paw swipe, he launched Freddie up
into the air. As the gerbil came down, Mick swatted him again, sending Freddie
into the now-half-empty trash bin. He looked at Speedy. “You have to admit, he
asked for it.”
“Well, yes, but you didn’t have to give it to him.”
“He’ll be fine, it’s soft garbage in there.” Mick pointed
with a paw. “See, he found the banana peels. He’s fine.”
Speedy sighed. “Yes, but we’re going to have to dig him out
and send him home to Lorna, y’know.”
“Crap, forgot about that.” Mick hopped over to the edge of
the bin and carefully peeked his head in. “Get yourself out here, foo’ gerbil, and I hope you learned your
lesson.”
There was nothing but silence in response. Speedy’s brow
furrowed. He called out, “Freddie, are you okay?”
Suddenly the faint sound of snoring came from the trash bin.
Speedy shook his head. “Those must have been some powerful cookies if the
crumbs could do that to him. Come to think of it, he was a little wilder than
usual last night as well…”
“Foo’ gerbil just can’t hold his rum, that’s all.”
Speedy gave his friend a look. “And you could…?”
Mick snorted. “I had far more of those cookies than he did; of
course they had more of an impact." A look of horror suddenly crossed his face. "How many rabbits did you say were here?"
"About a half-dozen, but you're lucky; they all left after you started hugging them, they didn't get the entire show. Nothing for you to worry about."
Mick shook his head and pretended to look
unconcerned. “ Not worried, who said I was worried? Anyway, it looks like no harm was done—“
“—other than to
somebunny’s pride—“ Speedy mumbled under his breath with a chuckle.
Mick ignored him. “—and since there’s nothing to tell us who
left it, I guess we’re done here.”
"Fine." Speedy reached his head into the garbage bin, carefully pulled
out the still-snoozing Freddie by the scruff with his teeth and set him down
next to Mick. “You’ll have to see him home while I clean this up. It's the least you could do, after all.”
Mick sighed. “Oh, fine, but just this once...”
He carefully picked up the gerbil, nose twitching at the
smell, and mumbled (with his mouth full
of gerbil scruff):
“ ‘Sa goo fing he smell like ‘nanas now…”
…
“Did I get the
pictures you wanted?”
The Boy nodded as he
scrolled through the images on his camera; Mick hugging Speedy, Mick hopping
headfirst into a closet door, Mick sitting in a salad bowl with a large lettuce
leaf on his head, Mick running around the room with Freddie on his back, Mick
hugging Freddie.
“Yes, they’re perfect.
Thanks for your help—I couldn’t have pulled this off without you. You’re sure
none of them saw you?”
“I’m sure. I have my
ways of staying out of sight, even from rabbits.”
“How much do I owe
you?”
The Doctor grinned. “Oh,
please, it was my pleasure—after what that orange furball did to my TARDIS after the last time we met, it was the least I could do.”
He gestured toward the
camera. “So what do you plan on doing
with those?”
The Boy grinned
wickedly. “Let’s just say that somebunny is going to have a big surprise the
next time he checks out his Bunspace page.”
The Doctor chuckled. “Well-played,
young man.”
The End…?
