Zen and the Art of Wabbit Maintenance

My family and I are going away on vacation next week. As always when we travel, my sister and her boyfriend take on the roles of bunny-sitters while we're gone. Usually before we leave, they come over for a thanks-in-advance dinner and a quick review of rabbit routine, which has generally consisted of "Here's where his food is, here's the vet number in case of emergency, call me if you have any questions, thanks lots!"

Not this time.

Not when the rabbit in question is His Majesty, Mr. High-Maintenance.

"Hey, who are you calling high-maintenance?"

With Mickey's predecessor, Karnage, the routine was simple: greens twice a day, pellets once a day, make sure he has water, let him out to run around a bit; he'll go back in his cage as soon as you tell him to. Boom-done.

Mickey's routine: check eyes and clean if needed twice a day (because of blocked tear ducts). treats twice a day, greens twice a day, pellets mixed with crumbled hay cubes once a day (to keep his teeth in good shape), chop up papaya and put it in pineapple juice once a day (to keep him from getting hairballs), add hay to litterbox (or replace litterbox with fresh one), replace hay in tubes if he eats it, let him out for exercise but watch out for him chewing on stuff and expect to have to chase him to get him back in the cage. Oh, and you might have to wipe juice off his fur because he tends to stick his butt in his papaya-and-juice bowl.

"Well, pardon me for expecting proper service in my own home.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be napping in my castle--

and I expect not to be disturbed unless it's time for my evening treats, thank you very much."

My sister was here for an hour getting all the details, and no dinner this time. Needless to say, they'll be getting some serious compensation for this.