Sunday, January 6, 2013

(Bunny Fiction) Mr. Mick and The Hangover, Part 2

Note from Jade: To read Part 1, you can scroll down one post or just click here. Again, many thanks to Lorna for the inspiration. :D

“Mick! Mick! Calm down, old pal! There has to be an explanation for this…”

Speedy put a paw out to keep the fuming lop from coming closer, then suddenly twitched his ears violently.  “Ghaaaaa! Stop that, Freddie!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” a tiny voice appeared to come from the inside of Speedy’s right ear. “I just don’t want to get bopped on the head, that’s all!”

Speedy thumped a hind foot. “Being bopped is the least of your worries if I accidentally shake you out—I won’t let him hurt you, just come out of there!”

Cautiously, the tiny gerbil came into view, clutching at Speedy’s ear and looking wide-eyed at Mick. “I swear, I swear, I didn’t do anything!”

“I didn’t say you did, you ninny, but something happened last night and I want to know what it was!” Mick looked at Speedy. “I was fine until I got to your party last night, then the next thing I know, I’m home with a splitting headache and I smell like I was used as a gerbil bed!”

He pointed up  with a paw at Freddie. “And I swear, if you peed on me, I will feed you to the nearest alley cat—“

“I didn’t! I didn’t!” Freddie squealed. “YOU were the one hugging me!”

“Whaddaya mean, ‘hugging you’?” Mick shook his head in disgust. “I don’t go around hugging foo’ gerbils, least of all you!”

Speedy spoke up. “I’m afraid you did, old chap. In fact, you were also offering ‘pony rides’ at the top of your lungs. As I recall, you did the Bunny 500 with Freddie here on your back at least three times. ”

Now it was Mick’s turn to go all wide-eyed. “What?! Impossible! Inconceivable!”

“You did! You did!” Freddie raced down Speedy’s leg and stood in front of Mick. “You were hugging us both and saying how much you loved us and how wunnerful we all were.”

He looked at Speedy. “Is ‘wunnerful’ even a word?”

Speedy nodded. “It is, but not like that, I think. “ He looked at Mick. “You did seem to be a few sheets into the wind, Mick. How many carrotinis did you have last night?”

Mick paused and thought. “Not all that many, I knew I had some more closet-hopping to do.”

“Are you sure? Perhaps you lost count—“

“No way, I’m always careful about that!”

“Perhaps you didn’t eat enough to balance things out, then?”

“Are you kidding?” Freddie interjected. “Since when does he not eat?!” He scampered behind Speedy as Mick glared at him. “Well, it’s true!”

Mick carefully groomed an ear and thought some more. “Of course I ate—not that much *glaring at Freddie*—but I did eat. Let’s see, there were the shredded carrots…and the banana slices…and that lovely kale--where did your Mum get that kale, I need to get some more of that?”

“I’ll ask her. Anything else?”

“Hmmm…there was the salad…and the blueberries…oh, and those marvelous hay cookies—even better than the ones my Mum makes!”

Speedy looked puzzled. “What hay cookies? I didn’t see any, and I know Mum didn’t make any.”

“Greedy bun! I only got one!” Freddie squeaked. He looked up at Speedy. “The ones in the pretty blue box—you didn’t see them?”

“No, I didn’t.” Speedy scratched his ear and thought a moment. “Don’t recall anyone bringing a box of hay cookies, either.  A shame, I would have loved to have a nibble, but I was busy being a proper host and all. ”

“Well, it’s not like anyone had a chance to eat them once Greedy McGreedypants here got at them!”
Freddie raced back up to perch between Speedy’s ears again as Mick took a swipe at him. “I grabbed one when he wasn’t looking, or he would have got them all!”

“I did not eat them all!” Mick paused, and for once, had the grace to look a bit embarrassed. “Well, I did lose track of how many I had…they were just so very yummy. I wish I knew who brought them.”

“Hmmm…perhaps the box is still around. I had to clean up very quickly before the humans woke up.”
Speedy turned and headed towards the kitchen, Freddie clinging to one ear. “Come on, let’s have a look through the trash.”

The three went into the kitchen, where a well-loaded trash bin sat. Mick periscoped up on his hind legs to try to get a glimpse into it. “Gawd, it stinks! What have your humans been eating?”

“I have no idea. I think we’re going to need to knock it down so we can go through it.”

“Do we have to?” Mick sat down and grumbled. “I just got the smell of gerbil off me—I don’t want to be smelling like yesterday’s dinner now.”

“Do you want to find out what happened or don’t you? Freddie, you’d better hop off and move back. Go keep an eye out for Mum and Dad for us. ”

Freddie hopped down and scampered off. The two rabbits moved to one side of the wastebasket, and periscoping up and leaning against it, managed to slowly tip it over. Garbage spilled out across the floor, and Speedy immediately hopped over and began pawing through it. Mick less-than-enthusiastically waved a paw delicately over bits and pieces, carefully pushing things aside. Speedy gave him a scornful look. “Oh, come on—it’s not that bad.”

“Yes, it is. You may not mind being stinky, but I—wait, wait! There it is!” Mick pointed at a bright blue metal box corner sticking up out of a pile of damp paper.

Speedy dug it out, grabbed it with his teeth and pulled it to one side. The box had no lid; inside it was a bit of wax paper sprinkled with crumbs. He sniffed at it, and recoiled with a sneeze. “Wooo! Are you sure there were cookies in there? That box smells rummy!”

Freddie scampered over to the box. “Yes! Yes! That’s it—ooh, crumbs!” He hopped into the box and started licking the waxed paper eagerly.

Mick shook his head in disgust. “Foo’ gerbil—don’t you know better than to eat something that’s been in the garbage?”

Freddie ignored him and kept licking at the paper until every crumb was gone. “You’re just jealous that I got the last of it.” He hopped out of the box and began cleaning his whiskers to get every last bit.

Speedy inspected the box. “I don’t see any markings on it, and that awful smell is hiding any scents so I don’t know who brought it, but it certainly stinks like rum. You didn’t smell that when you were eating them?”

Mick shook his head. “Nope, but then again my nose isn’t as good when I’ve been sipping carrotinis.”

“Your nose isn’t all that good even when you haven’t!” squeaked Freddie. He stuck his tongue out at Mick, then bounced in and out between Speedy’s paws as Mick’s eyes narrowed at him. “Nyah, nyah, nyah—try to catch me, ya fat puffball!”

Speedy looked down in amusement at Freddie. “I say, you’ve gotten rather bold all of a sudden. Are you alright?”

“Never better! Come on, fat boy, what are ya waitin’ for?!” Freddie danced back-and-forth, back-and-forth, his tail whipping about as he inched closer and closer to Mick’s fluffy front paws, darting in to tag them lightly every so often, then dropping back to dance some more. 

Mick looked down at the bouncing gerbil, then at Speedy, then down at Freddie again. With one quick paw swipe, he launched Freddie up into the air. As the gerbil came down, Mick swatted him again, sending Freddie into the now-half-empty trash bin. He looked at Speedy. “You have to admit, he asked for it.”

“Well, yes, but you didn’t have to give it to him.”

“He’ll be fine, it’s soft garbage in there.” Mick pointed with a paw. “See, he found the banana peels. He’s fine.”

Speedy sighed. “Yes, but we’re going to have to dig him out and send him home to Lorna, y’know.”

“Crap, forgot about that.” Mick hopped over to the edge of the bin and carefully peeked his head in. “Get yourself out here, foo’ gerbil, and I hope you learned your lesson.”

There was nothing but silence in response. Speedy’s brow furrowed. He called out, “Freddie, are you okay?”

Suddenly the faint sound of snoring came from the trash bin. Speedy shook his head. “Those must have been some powerful cookies if the crumbs could do that to him. Come to think of it, he was a little wilder than usual last night as well…”

“Foo’ gerbil just can’t hold his rum, that’s all.”

Speedy gave his friend a look. “And you could…?”

Mick snorted. “I had far more of those cookies than he did; of course they had more of an impact." A look of horror suddenly crossed his face. "How many rabbits did you say were here?"

"About a half-dozen, but you're lucky; they all left after you started hugging them, they didn't get the entire show. Nothing for you to worry about."

Mick shook his head and pretended to look unconcerned. “ Not worried, who said I was worried? Anyway, it looks like no harm was done—“

“—other than to somebunny’s pride—“ Speedy mumbled under his breath with a chuckle.

Mick ignored him. “—and since there’s nothing to tell us who left it, I guess we’re done here.”

"Fine." Speedy reached his head into the garbage bin, carefully pulled out the still-snoozing Freddie by the scruff with his teeth and set him down next to Mick. “You’ll have to see him home while I clean this up. It's the least you could do, after all.”

Mick sighed. “Oh, fine, but just this once...”

He carefully picked up the gerbil, nose twitching at the smell, and mumbled (with his mouth full of gerbil scruff):
“ ‘Sa goo fing he smell like ‘nanas now…”

“Did I get the pictures you wanted?”
The Boy nodded as he scrolled through the images on his camera; Mick hugging Speedy, Mick hopping headfirst into a closet door, Mick sitting in a salad bowl with a large lettuce leaf on his head, Mick running around the room with Freddie on his back, Mick hugging Freddie.
“Yes, they’re perfect. Thanks for your help—I couldn’t have pulled this off without you. You’re sure none of them saw you?”
“I’m sure. I have my ways of staying out of sight, even from rabbits.”
“How much do I owe you?”
The Doctor grinned. “Oh, please, it was my pleasure—after what that orange furball did to my TARDIS after the last time we met, it was the least I could do.”
He gestured toward the camera.  “So what do you plan on doing with those?”
The Boy grinned wickedly. “Let’s just say that somebunny is going to have a big surprise the next time he checks out his Bunspace page.”
The Doctor chuckled. “Well-played, young man.”

The End…?

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

(Bunny Fiction) Mr. Mick and The Hangover, Part 1

Note from Jade: A Happy Hoppy New Year to everyone and everybun! The following is inspired by our friend Lorna's tales of Mick's misadventures--and a FB convo with her Viking friend Kim along those lines...

Mr. Mick slowly woke and shook his head, then winced in pain. His mum had spoken of “headaches” before, but he had never experienced one until just now. It was as unpleasant as she had described; every movement was like somebunny was thumping on his brain--even his ears ached from base to tip. He carefully got to his feet and looked around; his cage was in its usual state of disarray, there were some leftover pellets in his dish and a few strands of hay in his water bowl—nothing that would indicate anything out of the ordinary. He sniffed the air, then wrinkled his nose and sneezed. What was that smell?! He sniffed again…if his head wasn’t hurting so much, he thought, he’d know it by now…was that a hint of—sunflower seed?! Mick's eyes went wide, and he practically squeaked in indignation.

“Why does my fur smell like foo’ gerbil?!”

“I have no idea.” said his Mum. “Did you go getting yourself up to no good after I went to bed?”

“Noooo…” Mick replied slowly (partly because he just might have been—he wasn’t quite sure—but mainly because it hurt too much to talk). He nibbled at the New Year’s treat oats Mum offered by hand to him, thinking perhaps a full belly would clear his head. Despite the pounding of his bunny skull, he tried to remember the events of the night before. He had gone out closet-hopping after Mum had gone to bed, that much he remembered. He had gone to Auntie Shell’s first to visit Harrington and Hannah, then made quick stops to see the Lavender Rabbits and the OK Corral  on his way to the West Coast to say hi to the Houseful of RabbitsMario and Clovie and have a cup of herbal tea with the 4Buns + 1 at the Bun Zen Center…then it was across the big water to wish Wesley and Buttons a Hoppy New Year before he made his way to Speedy’sand that's where it becomes a little fuzzy, he thought . He knew he had planned to go see Lorna, his furry bunmother, perhaps sneak some cuddles and a few blueberries, and have a word with Freddie the foo' gerbil about "things not to say to Mick's Mum if he didn't want Mick to play 'Little Bunny Foo Foo' with him" before going home. From the smell of things, he had obviously gotten there, but he had no idea what had happened while he was there…nor had any clue how it was that he came to reek of gerbil. 

Mick’s nose wrinkled, and he sneezed and shuddered again. He gave himself a long wash, then rolled in his hay pile until he felt somewhat more himself. Mum had cleaned and filled his bowls, so he had some lunch—and a LOT of water—then laid down for a nap. When his head felt better, he would get to the bottom of this…and somebunny (or gerbil) was going to pay…

To Be Continued...